not having an archives on this blog is a GOOD decision.

you will know when the time is right.

28 Nov 2007 Thursday


hmm, i realised how differnt groups of people i meet at the different stages of life address me differently

like in pri sch, pple call me chock.
in crescent : xinlin
in jc : chock
uni: gladys

which i think proves to be something really handy especially for pple like me who have problem remembering pple's name. (yar. sth as simple as sam can slip my mind!) *slaps forehead

so just in case someone whom you bump into the streets called out to you "eh xinlin!"
the immediate thought bubble in my head goes: " okay. someone from crescent! THINK THINK what's her name!" haha and before you can figure out her name i can like come up with some conversation starter about crescent. or mrjosef. everyone knows him.

hmm i miss hanging out with mrjosef, ena and cheryl. sigh. mrjosef always always make me laugh. yeah i will have to meet up with them this dec!

23 Nov Friday

You helped them to kill me
That's all that I'm willing to say
You no longer thrill me
All you do now is stand in my way

All they say makes me feel just as safe
I've lost everything that i own
All they say makes me feel
awefully blue and alone

I wrote us a song, you weren't singing along
But I hope you'll be missing me too
I held onto too long, I did everything wrong
But I hope you'll be missing me like I will miss you

I wouldn't say I've moved on
I wouldn't say I'm close to ok
Or that you no longer feel me
Or no longer stand in my way

I'm not too proud to admit to you now
That I'm still nothing more than a wreck
I do intend not to pretend til the end


this emo dark and blue song just stirs something up within in my heart.
it's really unfair how sometimes you mean more to that person than he/she means to you.
i guess this line " But I hope you'll be missing me like I will miss you" brings out that unfairness.

hmm i guess saying it as "unfair" is the wrong word to describe it.
sigh, it's just how come u are willing to give your heart out and just dont expect too much in return.
so i can never fathom unconditional love.
like would you love someone who would never love you back in return?
i know i cant.
and i still live by the belief that i would never love someone more than the person loves me.
yep, it's selfish but i guess im doing that to protect myself or i have not met the one whom im willing to give it all.


this is not the right time to be blogging about these issues.
social issues are non issues right? ha

22 Nov 07 Tuesday

i freaking fell down an escalator.
it was horrible.
you know the horrible sharp grids that the escalator has? well it cut into my back and my back looked as though i was clawed by a tiger or simply tortured by barbed wire :(
i wanna take a photo to show, but my friends (except some heartless few) get freaked out when i show them my injury. taking a photo is the least on their mind.

it's 535am now. maybe i should go to sleep.
this cycle is messed uppppp.

21 nov 07 wednesday

madness. went back school at 11pm to mug.
it's one of the things i do on impulse after i feel so engerised from my night nap. (napped from like 8 till 1030Pm)
cab fare was only like 4 bucks which is an additional incentive to go back to sch as the library is opened 24 hrs now. (i just found that out)

so it was a productive time of mugging for my bgs. which i think is the most enjoyable subject to mug. Proj Raj says we must read the preface of the text 5 times since he read it 20 times. ehhhh Preface? oh wells.


know i shouldn't be judging. haix.
i dont know why i feel like this when i have no right to.
complicated. maybe distance will do us good.

17 NOV SATURDAY

HAJI LANE
+ our nice t shirts
+ kampong glam dinner
+ me
+ frujch
+ heineken
+ starry night
+ GOODFELLAS
+ denise & friend
+ Timbre
+ Erdinger
+ YOU
+ Goodfellas who recognize us!
+ awesome awesome music
+ rockin' crowd
+ 6 dollar trishaw ride (HA!)
+ 2am self entertained karaoke session
+ hp camera whoring moments
+ 4am dim sum supper

GREAT TIMES.

great times = sleep time 4am till 11 am. 2pm till 5pm = no mugging time :P

15 Nov 2007 Thursday

saw goodfellas at Timbre at the art house this time.
hahas. what a small small world again. i just cant stress how COINCIDENTAL everything is la. really never planned of even going to Timbre or anything, but we were just drawn to the music across the river. and what a pleasant surprise it was to see them there!
so i waved at the lead singer and he waved back :)ha, guess he recognise me from last sat!

hahas, which means friday (the next time i get to see Goodfellas again!) i have a valid reason to go strike up a conversation since im pretty sure the lead singer remembers me! just that im contemplating whether i should do up a poster for them and be the only one in smu supporting them since the other bands are from smu. haha.

love this song: i dont love you by chemical romance.

i dont love you... like i did yesterday

14Nov Wed

weeehees.
i got B for my AWC 2nd essay. which according to Roger (my prof) is the one of the 2nd highest in class :)
which gives me more motivation to work on my 3rd one... which is 8 pages long. and according to Roger again, it looks pretty decent.

so, i just cant stress how COINCIDENTAL everything is!
ha, looks like i wont be alone in Penang from the 16th to 19th.
someone tell me penang is a small small place.

Random random quote:
"Blessed is the man who has 12 hours of sleep" Gladysians 14:7

Today will be a whole day packed of CREATIVE THINKING.
CT proj meeting at 12pm to 330pm
CT class from 330pm to 645pm
CT MAKEUP class from 645 till 9?!

ha, and that concludes the entire module.
and hopefully after this whole day of intensive creative thinking, we will all be more a tad more creative.
hmm but "According to a study done by Barry Stew, a professor at University of California at Berkeley's Haas School of Business, it was found that companies who focuses on individual achievement produces more creative ideas. ", which means teamwork stifles creativity.
so isn't it ironic that we got to work together as a team on our CT proj?
hmmm.. ahh i get it now. no wonder the school doesn't put CT and LTB in the same sememster...

tuesday 13 nov

hahahaha! guess what? Goodfellas are coming to play at SMU this friday for the Starry Night event. which makes it a must-go event for me! ok, it shall be nice way to end my first semester at SMoooo!
plus guanwen's band, On the rocks is playing too!

ok, let me go back in figuring out what stats nonsense larry haverkamp has just written on the board.

:) beams. fri will be like a deja vu of last saturday!

12 Nov 07 Monday 1230am
it's amazing how i can survive on 4 hours of sleep, knowing that I'm the kind who needs my kiddy naps. ha
Well, i wasn't up mugging or anything last night. But instead was at Timbre's till 2am, we stayed till Goodfellas played their last song. the music is really really good, which makes no one wonder why Goodfellas play on a Saturday night and EIC plays on a wednesday night. ha, the band bought us a pint of Erdinger cause someone was daring enough to go up stage to "shake it like a Polaroid picture!" hahahas.
awesome awesome time :)

and all that was after was even better.
it's the indescribable feeling how blessed i truly am that we worship the same God.

sometimes i wonder if im in the same school as my peers. like i know i should be mugging harder, maybe even get more stressed.
But nonetheless, im really grateful i had this week to take a break and really give myself ample rest.
ok. the man U match should be over by now. ciaos

9 Nov 2007 Friday
yesterday was Deepavali :)
i guessed it was the most happening one ever.
went for frisbee training in the morning, the field was horribly muddy and wet. the sun wasnt out, so noppes i didnt get sunkissed as much as i would like to have. but i felt pretty weak cause i have not done much running in a long while, been skipping some trainings due to presentations blah blah. and now my legs/ back/ arms are aching. ha but i do like this sore feeling.

so i had lunch with dad and eugene yap after. haha it was quite funny how eugene ended up tagging along cause he thought we were going straight home but my dad had some errands to run around the area. which means i got to drove around. which means.. my dad did his usual thing of getting gan jiong! but eugene had a good laugh at the rear seat and now i think he can do my dad pretty well. (eh sounds wrong) i mean he can do an impersonation of my dad pretty well now. HAHAS.

then went back to snooze a little before heading to guozheng's place for house warming. i got him the vodka mandarin as a house warming present. only thing, the house was already warmed up as all the family friends had left. so it was just us, his army friends and super super duber chatty siblings. haha, his siblings are just so cute and smart. like really smart. i felt like i was talking to a sec 1 kid when his bro is only pri 5. ah wells we were all amused by their antics.

ha i like their kitchen alot. it's like the kitchen in the OC show. beside having load of noise at their place, SPACE is another ample element. hahas. a HUGE HUGE unit for a condo. :)

okies, so while the down to earth army boys who had ORDed are enjoying their freedom, im here writing my 2400 word essay. blahhh
haha but ena cow is coming over later to hang out! and im going for cell grp tonight! yays! ciaos

6 Nov 2007.

Chris Tomlin's songs have been a blessing.
the lyrics just speak volumes.

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom


what beautiful lyrics...big, awesome words.
Do you imagined a storehouse in heaven laden with snow? not me. no one can deny it's a beautiful thought: heaven with snow? and these lyrics just cover the physical landscape of the world, of the sights and sounds God has blessed us with. and it has already just an overwhelming effect. just think about the Love that God has showered us with is even more indescribable.

no wonder Paul says in Ephesians 3:18, we may never fully understand how wide, how long, how high and how deep His love is.

my 50 year old uncle has a facebook account. ha he's so hip.
maybe that's why im such a facebook addict... it runs in the genes :)
maybe i should go and start a "CHOCK FAMILY" facebook group and we shall post all the christmas/ chinese new year gatherings agendas on it. and throw "hongbaos" / "xmas stockings" at each other, according to the festive season. ha can you can choose the Singapore dollars Hongbao or Ringgit Hongbao according to where your relatives are resided in. hahahas. ok this is just a random random thing.

so i watched Stardust yesterday. it was really an awesome awesome movie.
made me cried and smiled like a crazy idiot... (but i really really loved that show. cause in that 2 hr, it was as though i was transported to a enchanted, magical world where there's no stress nor no worries for me. so im really happy now, and im looking forward to the bbq this thurs :)

Great are You, Lord
Mighty in strength
You are faithful
You will ever be

We will praise You
All of our days
It's for Your glory
We offer everything

Raise your hands, all you nations
Shout to God all creation
How awesome is the Lord most high

Where You send us
God, we will go
You're the answer
We want the world to know

We will trust You
When You call our name
Where You lead us
We'll follow all the way

We will praise You together
For now and forever
How awesome is the Lord most high

i missed cell group today, cause im still in school rehearsing for our major presentation tomorrow. i cant wait for this project to be over and i will be done presenting for this term.

hmm but im not complaining.
this new found freedom has been very liberating i must say. don't get me wrong, everyone is still a friend.

well it's a different feeling being single, but i guess there is a lot for me to learn about being alone and finding solace in God. :)

But thankfully, great friends are still around.
Ena has been a great source of comfort. ha, she has this "interesting" relationship with her bf i must say. Well, they are both very independent individual and as her bf is in the army, they have not met for 2 weeks now.
which means, i am meeting my ex boyfriend more than she meeting her boyfriend. hahaha

hmm, it's still quite hard to get use to the awkward feeling seeing ash around church and cell. but i guess with God's grace, this feeling will go away soon.

There's so much i want to do now that i have more time at hand. For one, ena and I are planning a trip to Perth next year summmer. I know this trip is so gonnna be a blast, and we will draw closer to each other and have such a awesome time together. Ha, it's still too early to say much, but i will just pray hard hard hard that everything will be sorted out fine.


i hope this Christmas will be worth being here for :)

weeehees. supper laterzz

so bus 147 is now my favorite bus.
and im really in a good mood, cause singapore is just so freaking small. hahahas.
im still feeling very giggly over that oh-so-coincidental incident but I shan't elaborate here.

:)
beams.